Communication is one of the most important factors in a healthy relationship. While it’s okay to have a different communication style than your partner, it’s important to make open communication a priority. Unfortunately, it’s something many couples struggle with.
Without healthy communication efforts, your relationship can suffer. You might feel disconnected from your partner, or you might feel like your relationship is on rocky ground more often than not.
Thankfully, there are communication tips you can put into practice every day that will make a big difference. Let’s look at a few of them.
1. Be an Active Listener
Most people think communication is all about talking, but listening is just as (if not more) important. Don’t just “hear” what your partner has to say while they’re talking. To truly listen, give them your full attention. Ask questions. Show nonverbal cues that you understand.
Everyone wants and deserves to be heard and understood. Being an active listener in your relationship will help your partner to feel valued, and it will reduce the risk of miscommunication between you.
2. Use “I” Statements
It’s easy to play the blame game when you’re disagreeing or going through a difficult time. Instead of suggesting to your partner that they always do something wrong, focus on using “I” statements.
By using “I” statements, you’re bringing the focus to your feelings. You’re letting your partner know how certain actions, words, and behaviors make you feel rather than blaming anyone for it. This will tear down defenses, and you’ll be able to have a healthier conversation.
3. Don’t Be Distracted
There’s no question that we live in a busy, digital world. How much time do you spend each day staring at your phone, a computer, or a TV screen?
While there’s nothing wrong with those things, it’s essential to “unplug” sometimes and focus on really connecting and communicating with your partner. When you have something to talk about, make sure you’re focused on each other and eliminate as many distractions as possible.
4. Make Time for Communication
In addition to eliminating distractions, setting aside a specific time each week to focus on your relationship can be helpful. Go on a date, or cook a meal together at home. While it might not seem romantic to schedule time with your partner, it shows them your relationship is a priority.
You can use that time to focus on communication and improve your skills as you open up to each other without anything else pulling you away.
5. Choose Vulnerability
Open communication often means vulnerable communication. If you’ve had bad communication in past relationships or even a childhood where it wasn’t prioritized, you might have a hard time opening up and being vulnerable.
But trust is just as important as communication. By opening up to your partner, you’re letting them know you trust them. That will help build intimacy and make them more comfortable opening up to you, too.
6. Remember You’re On the Same Team
You should approach every conversation with your partner with the idea that you want the same things. You might have different ideas about how to get there. But “winning” an argument or trying to control the relationship should never be a goal. Rather, focus on compromise and working together through every aspect of your relationship.
These communication tips are just the beginning. But, they can make it easier to focus on how you connect with your partner, so you can be more intentional with your communication. Don’t hesitate to start incorporating them right away.
If you’re struggling to communicate effectively with your partner, there’s no shame in reaching out for help. Feel free to contact me for more information about couples counseling.
