Just because you’re in a committed relationship doesn’t mean you need to fall into the trap of thinking your sex life should suffer. No matter how long you’ve been with someone, you can have a healthy, spark-filled sex life for years. But you both have to be willing to put in the effort.
Your sex life can change throughout the course of your relationship. You might need or want things today that you didn’t even a year ago. Your partner’s needs might have changed, too. So, what can you do to spice up your sex life and build better intimacy while you’re at it? Let’s cover a few helpful tips.
1. Talk About Sex
Far too often, couples don’t spend enough time talking about sex. But how are you really supposed to know what your partner wants (or vice versa) if you don’t spend some time divulging your desires? It can be uncomfortable to open up about those desires at first. But, you’ll likely find that being vulnerable builds your intimacy as a couple. Many people also find talking about their desires to be a turn-on. Plus, when you put things into “practice,” it shows your partner that you really care about them, and you’re likely to feel that same kind of adoration when they fulfill your needs and wants.
2. Change Things Up
If you feel like your sex life is getting a little bit stale, consider changing something about it. That might be as simple as trying different positions, or you might consider changing the location. Booking a hotel for the weekend is a great way to dedicate your time solely to each other. But you can also spice things up in your own home. Camp out in the living room for a night, or set up a tent in the backyard. The simplest changes can often make a big difference.
3. Schedule Time Together
While scheduling sex might not seem very “spicy” or even very romantic, it can be both when done the right way. There’s no denying we live in a busy world. That can often make sex an afterthought for couples or something that is hurried through.
Consider scheduling sex with your partner. Whether it’s once a week, a few times a month, or whatever fits your needs, scheduling is a great way to ensure you’re both present and mindful of the moment.
Plus, a schedule gives you something to look forward to. That can be incredibly enticing, especially on the day it’s supposed to happen. You can continue to spice things up on those days by sending text messages or small notes to your partner throughout the day.
4. Build Intimacy Everyday
Yes, you can spice up your sex life even when you’re not in the bedroom. One of the best ways to do that is by building intimacy and finding excuses to touch each other every day. Kiss your partner before you leave for work each day. Hold their hand or rub their feet while you’re watching TV on the couch. Rest your hand on their leg while you’re in the car. Finding little ways to stay physically connected to your partner can make a bigger difference than you might realize. It will strengthen your physical connection and your desires, and that quickly carries over into the bedroom.
Sex doesn’t have to be a taboo subject in a relationship. The more you open up about your sex life with your partner, the stronger and healthier it will become. Keep these tips in mind to reignite your spark. You might end up having the best sex your relationship has seen in years.
Reach out to learn more about couples counseling.
